Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
worst night to have a conscience
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
