yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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