And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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