Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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