I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
