I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have demons in me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
