bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I need moral support for this bender
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize