How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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