glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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