I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
