I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
