He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
