i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
