Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
