The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
