you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize