I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize