I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
