Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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