I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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