I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
