Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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