Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
