What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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