You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You have to summon your inner elephant
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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