i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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