Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I love having hate sex.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
