too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
worst night to have a conscience
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
