the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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