you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize