I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
