No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The air taste purple.
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