I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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