we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize