There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
