Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
