:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
