"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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