Quick, to the slutcave!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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