yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
