so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
