Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
