I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize