Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
