the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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