I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
