just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
