doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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