did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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