I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Acid is not a monday night drug
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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