she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've blown a few things in my day
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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