Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
