The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
