She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
