She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
