Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize