I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
