found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
