Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
