We're like a lot better than the average bears
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
